Do you want to talk about the attack?
The one that left that scar on your arm.
*Hand feels for the scar in the crook of her elbow then falls away* I’d never been betrayed like that before.
Not even by your father?
That was different.
He betrayed us all, even himself. When Sebastian claimed me, the betrayal wasn’t his. He was true to his nature. Granted it was a nature I wasn’t aware of until that moment, but the definition of a monster doesn’t paint a picture of love and kindness. The betrayal was the worst because it was my heart. I was in love with him. And even now, after everything he’s done to me, I still love him. I hate him and despise him and want to watch him scream while he burns to death, but I also love him.
You hate yourself for loving him?
Do you think he loves you?
He’s never told me he does?
But, do you think he does?
He loved his wife and I look like her.
So, you believe he wants you because you remind him of his wife?
I believe he is the High Lord and he holds all the power. That’s the point. It doesn’t matter what I want, it never has. He holds the power and he owns me, or at least, he believes he does.
It’s a leash.
You feel he treats you like a dog?
No. He can be kind, it’s just… I don’t want to be owned. I want to be loved.
You find his expectations chaffing?
Do you think you act out against his claim, maybe do things just to rebel his authority?
No, I… Maybe? It’s not that he tells me no so I go and do it. I just want my freedom. I have the right to live my life the way I choose to live it. His jealousy is unbearable.
You mean your relationship with Granger?
I don’t want to talk about him.
I just… Sebastian is the problem. He’s the one I need to learn to deal with or…
Or I need to get away from him.
These blog posts are based on events that occur in the Hierarch Series. Read Succumb now on Radish Fiction. Due for publication in August 2019.