How the hell is it April already? Why is the year racing by so quickly? Slow it down for the next month, please. I only have a few weeks of leave left, and if I could have them last for another year, that would be great!
There is so much happening from now to July that I feel like I’m running around like a headless chicken. Deadlines galore, I tell you!
There are deadlines for BABE which is now only 2 months away…Argh!!!
And Booktober, which I’m taking part in again this year.
Writing deadlines. I’m seriously having to juggle a few of those.
Ordering deadlines and the list goes on.
And on top of all of it, I’m the mother of a teenager whose emotional landscape resembles some insane rollercoaster with way too many loop-the-loops in it. Some days I’d prefer to try and navigate a labyrinth with a Minator chasing me than the hell that is a teenager’s moodscape. I understand why parents happily shelled out for those mood rings back in the 90s. You could see the black swirl of danger as the kid came through the door from school, fake an urgent phone call from work, told them there was chocolate hidden on the top shelf of the pantry, and bolt for it before they have a chance to tear into you because someone looked at them the wrong way in class that day. Too much teenage angst for my liking.
So with all of that above, I’m sure it will be no surprise that my writing has suffered this past fortnight. My deadline for Edge Gelus has passed, with it due to the editor at the end of this week, and I’m only halfway through the manuscript. Which doubly sucks since I should have been making a start on Angelis this week.
It seems every time I sit down to write, someone in my house suddenly wants to talk to me about something, which breaks my focus, and I can’t get back in the zone. This includes the cat demanding pats and making me put my laptop aside. And if it’s not someone else, then my health hits me sideways. This leads to frustration with myself and an increased sense of imposter syndrome.
Where is the woman who could write 3 books in 3 months?
Where did the ability to write 10k in a day go, and now I can barely get a chapter written?
Frustration and doubt are a living and breathing boogie man under my bed.
Even dressmaking has been frustrating these last couple of weeks. Mistake after mistake, and it just took so long to do what should have been an easy day of sewing. Last night after three goes of trying to get something to do what I needed, I chucked in the towel for the night and walked away. I didn’t even consider picking it back up today.
We are in the midst of a massive swing in weather here, going from an average of 38C Degrees to 20C degrees. Now, anyone with hEDS or former injuries can tell you that a drop in atmospheric pressure greatly impacts our body’s ability to hold itself together, leading to days of pain. As such, my mind just wants to shut off in an attempt to ignore the pain, so my ability to function the last few days has been minimal.
I did get some reading done when I was able to remain conscious.
I’m not sure what I’ll pick up this week yet. Because of the writing deadline that I am well behind on (I need to get 20k written in 4 days), I’m deferring picking up a book to convince the Muse to write.
Plans for this Week
So, as mentioned above, I have a deadline looming. My editor is expecting a manuscript come Friday, and I’m still a good 20K short on finishing it. So my focus is writing, writing, with a side of dressmaking.
Cross your fingers for me.
Have a great week!